Laurie's Journal

  The Pink Ribbon Policy: Choosing Joy Over Bitterness We’ve all had that "glass-shattering" moment—the second you realize a story you’ve believed about your life, your family, or your identity was actually a carefully constructed fiction. Discovering that things aren't what they seem is a universal human experience, but the real challenge isn’t the discovery itself. It’s how you choose to walk away from the wreckage. Do you let the false narrative define your future, or do you decide to love your life in spite of the lies? The Goodman Brown Trap In my late teens and early 20s, I encountered Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Young Goodman Brown . If you missed that day in lit class, here’s the gist: A young man leaves his wife, Faith, to run an errand in a dark forest. While there, he witnesses a nightmare: his pious neighbors and even his beloved Faith are participating in a dark, sinful ceremony. As he sees his wife’s pink ribbon flutter down from the sky, he cries out, “My Faith i...

  The Mirror Check: Flipping the Script on a Bad Attitude We’ve all been there. That heavy, prickly cloud follows you from the kitchen to the office, and suddenly every minor inconvenience feels like a personal attack from the universe. Maybe you snapped at a colleague, gave a loved one the cold shoulder, or just exuded a "don’t talk to me" energy that could freeze a radiator. It happens. But here’s the truth: A bad attitude is like driving with the parking brake on. You’re working twice as hard to go half as far, and you’re burning yourself out in the process. If you’ve recently had a "low-vibe" season, don't wallow in the guilt. Instead, let's talk about how to take a daily inventory and come back better than ever. 1. The Daily Inventory: Owning Your Part It’s easy to blame our mood on a bad night's sleep, a looming deadline, or a rude stranger. While those things are real, they are often just the triggers . The attitude is how we choose to process t...

The Great Thaw: Clearing Space in the Heart There is a specific kind of magic that happens in March. It’s in the sound of eaves dripping as ice finally loses its grip and the sight of that first, stubborn bit of green pushing through a patch of frozen mud. We call it "The Thaw." It’s messy, it’s a bit muddy, but it’s the only way to get to the flowers. But as we open our windows to let the crisp air in, we have to ask ourselves: What is still frozen inside of us? Most of us are carrying a "straggler" from a previous season—that person or group who harmed us, let us down, or left us cold. We carry the weight of that resentment like a heavy winter coat we’ve forgotten to take off, even though the sun is finally out. This month, let’s commit to an emotional thaw. Forgiveness is often misunderstood as a "hall pass" for bad behavior, but in reality, it’s a gift you give yourself. To forgive is to simply acknowledge that you are tired of carrying the cold. Forgi...

  Beyond the Chocolates: Why February is Officially "The Month of You" How was everyone’s Valentine’s Day? I hope your day was filled with all the classic hits—bouquets that smell like heaven, heart-shaped everything, and maybe a little too much chocolate (if there is such a thing). But here’s a secret: just because the calendar flipped to February 15th doesn’t mean the season of love is over. In fact, I’m officially declaring this Valentine’s Month. Now that you’ve showered your significant other with affection, it’s time to check in on a very important person you might have missed. Did you forget to celebrate your other significant other? I’m talking about you. Celebrating the Woman in the Mirror We spend so much time being the rock for everyone else. We are the ones who show up, who cheer the loudest, who dry the tears, and who make sure the holidays feel magical. But when was the last time you celebrated the person who did all that? You deserve a standing ovation for the...

  id Evicting the Storm Detaching from toxic people is a skill I’ve finally started to master. But detaching from the chaos of the world at large? That’s the ultimate challenge. When the "snowpocalypse" finally hit—despite my skepticism—it delivered a metaphorical masterclass in storm eviction. I realized that as long as I remained within the safety of my home, the blizzard was powerless. I’ve started applying that same logic to my "spiritual temple." The chaos of the world and the tempests of volatile people can only harm me if I let them through the door. I have the right to guard my heart against intrusive spirits. By simply raising my shields and refusing the storm entry, I found the most priceless gift of all: absolute peace. Key Takeaways for "Storm Eviction" Identify the Entry Point: Recognize when external chaos is trying to penetrate your mental space. The Power of No: You have the spiritual right to refuse entry to "tempestuous" peop...

  The Great Human Popsicle Experiment: Life at 5 Degrees Congratulations! You’ve survived the transition from "Crisp Autumn Morning" to "Lactose-Intolerant Penguin." It is currently 5 degrees outside. At this temperature, the air doesn’t just "touch" you; it insults you. It’s a personal attack on your nostrils and your general will to live. If you’re currently huddled under a weighted blanket questioning every life choice that led you to live in a place where the air hurts your face, this post is for you. The Stages of 5-Degree Grief We all go through a specific psychological journey when the mercury drops this low: Denial: "It’s not that bad. I’ll just wear my 'heavy' hoodie." (You will be back inside in 14 seconds). Anger: Directing swear words at the thermostat as if it has feelings. Bargaining: "If I remote-start the car for 20 minutes, maybe I won’t lose a toe on the way to work." Depression: Realizing you haven't ...

  The Cycle Ends Here: Why I’m Hitting Delete on Generational Negativity We all have them—those family heirlooms that nobody actually wants. I’m not talking about the chipped china or the dusty velvet sofa in the attic. I’m talking about the emotional inheritance : the cynicism, the "woe-is-me" outlook, and the habit of finding a storm cloud for every silver lining. In my family, negativity wasn't just a mood; it was a tradition. It was passed down like a secret recipe, seasoned with "life is hard" and "don't get your hopes up." But today, I’m hitting the delete button. The cycle stops with me. The Weight of the "Old Way" Generational negativity is a heavy coat that gets handed down from parent to child. You wear it because you watched them wear it. It sounds like: The "Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop" Syndrome: Never fully enjoying a win because you’re convinced a disaster is right around the corner. The Critique Culture: ...

  The Ghost Behind the Door: Why "Moving On" Isn’t Enough We’ve all heard the clichés about letting go. People tell you to "turn the page," "close the chapter," or—my personal favorite—"carry the lessons, leave the baggage." But for years, that advice felt like a lie. I’d "let go" of a failed project, a bridge burned, or a version of myself I didn't like anymore, but I’d still keep a tiny key to that room in my pocket. I’d check the lock every once in a while just to make sure the ghosts were still there. Then, I had a revelation that changed everything. The Illusion of the Rearview Mirror The problem with traditional letting go is that we treat our past like a museum. We walk out of the exhibit, but we still believe the exhibit exists behind us. We assume that because we experienced it, it has a permanent residence in the universe. We think: I’ve moved on, but that mistake is still sitting back there on year 2022’s shelf. This cr...

  Surviving the 2026 "Super Flu": A Personal Battle with Biology and Bipolar If you’ve been following the news lately, you know that the subclade K (or the "Super Flu," as the headlines love to call it) is no joke. I spent the last two weeks in the trenches with it. But for those of us living with Bipolar Disorder , the virus is only half the battle. When the high fevers and body aches of this 2026 mega strain hit, they didn't just attack my lungs—they sent my brain into a tailspin. This is the story of how I survived the "Super Flu" while navigating the crushing weight of a sudden bipolar depressive episode. The Collision: When the Virus Triggers the Void They don’t tell you that severe physical illness is a massive physiological stressor that can snap a stable mood like a dry twig. By day three of the flu, my fever was spiking at 102°F , and the inflammation was doing more than making my joints ache—it felt like it was shutting down my dopamine rece...

  The "Snowpocalypse" That Wasn't: A Survival Guide to Weather Anxiety We’ve all seen the news graphics. You know the ones—where the meteorologist looks like they’re reporting from the bridge of a starship, pointing at a giant, swirling purple blob of doom heading straight for your driveway. They call it the "Storm of the Century." They use words like Bombogenesis and Snowmageddon . Naturally, we do what any rational human does: we sprint to the grocery store to fight an elderly woman for the last loaf of sourdough and buy enough milk to bathe in. Then, the big day arrives. You wake up, ready to tunnel your way out the front door, only to find… a very bright, very cold, very dry sidewalk. Not a flake. Just the sun mocking your three-gallon hoard of 2% milk. Fact vs. Myth: The Weather Edition Is meteorology a science? Sure. But sometimes it feels more like a chaotic improv show where the points don't matter. The Prediction The Reality "30 Inches of Pow...

  Totally Tubular Times: A Rad Look Back at the 80s (from the futuristic year of 2026!) Can you believe it's 2026? We've got self-driving cars, virtual reality vacations, and a smartwatch that practically reads your mind. And yet, sometimes, I find myself yearning for a simpler era, a time of big hair, bigger shoulder pads, and even bigger dreams: the 1980s. Now, before you scoff and tell me I'm romanticizing a decade of neon and questionable fashion choices, hear me out. Yes, we may have been in an "on-again, off-again" recession (a concept that feels quaint compared to today's economic roller coasters), but darn it, we were happy! We found joy in the little things, and maybe, just maybe, our lack of constant digital stimulation contributed to that. Let's talk fashion first, because how can you not? We thought we were the epitome of cool, rocking acid-wash jeans that were so stiff they could stand up on their own, and t-shirts emblazoned with slogans that...

  When the Fever Brings the Fog: Navigating the Flu and Mental Health Getting sick is never just "getting sick" for me. While most people complain about the aches and the chills—which, don’t get me wrong, are miserable—my biggest fear when I see those two pink lines on a COVID test or feel that tell-tale scratch in my throat is the mental slide. I am incredibly susceptible to falling into a major depressive episode when my physical health dips. For the past few days, the flu hasn't just attacked my lungs; it’s gone straight for my dopamine levels. When you’re stuck in bed, the silence becomes loud. The lack of productivity feels like a moral failing, and the physical exhaustion starts to mimic the heavy, "leaden" feeling of clinical depression. It is a dangerous crossover. Here is how I managed to get through these last few days without letting the darkness take over completely. 1. Radical Acceptance (And Lowering the Bar) The moment I realized this was the flu,...

  The "Hump Day" Plot Twist: Reclaiming Your Weekend Space For the 40-hour-a-week warriors, Wednesday is usually the summit—the grueling climb to "Hump Day" where you finally see the downhill slope toward Friday. But what happens when the calendar flips, the routine breaks, and you find yourself standing at the edge of a wide-open weekend that would have been a workday? Suddenly, the "grind" is gone, and you’re left with the big question: Now what? The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing When the structure of the work week falls away, the instinct is often to panic. We feel the urge to fill the void with chores, errands, or "productive" hobbies. Don't freak out. We have acres of time ahead of us. The secret to winning the weekend isn't doing more—it’s using that time wisely by doing significantly less. My Guide to Slowing Down Since my brain has a tendency to sprint miles into the future—worrying about next Monday or planning for next year—...

What you are about to read IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE. Please do not replace solid therapy and well laid out treatment plans. These are only (deep dive researched) suggestions from another person who has suffered and understands what you are going through. Finding the right diagnosis can feel like finally receiving a map after wandering in the woods for years. For me, getting the words Bipolar I , severe anxiety , and severe OCD on paper wasn't a burden—it was a relief. It meant I could finally build a toolkit that actually worked for my specific brain. But then comes "Old Man Winter." For those of us navigating complex mental health landscapes, the shorter days and freezing temperatures aren't just an inconvenience; they are a genuine hurdle for stability. If you’re like me and trying to keep your head above water this season, here is how I’m shaking the winter blues while honoring my diagnoses. With OCD and anxiety, sensory overload can trigger a spiral. In the winter, ...

  The Monday Shuffle: Finding the Silver Lining in a Part-Time Schedule Ugh, it’s  Monday . The alarm goes off, the cozy weekend blankets are pushed aside, and it’s time to head back to the grind. We all know that specific "Monday morning" feeling, but my routine looks a little different than the standard 9-to-5, five-day-a-week hustle. Because of my disability, I work a part-time schedule—usually just  two or three days a week . The Trade-Off Living with a disability often means navigating a world that wasn't necessarily built for your pacing. While "working less" might sound like a dream to some, it’s often a necessity for managing energy, health, and accessibility. But if I’m being honest? It comes with a pretty incredible perk:  the 4-day weekend. Why the 4-Day Weekend is a Game Changer When you have a disability, "rest" isn't just about watching Netflix (though there's plenty of that). It’s about: Physical Recovery:  Giving my body the act...

 Honestly, there is something about the combination of a quiet atmosphere, rhythmic speech, and forced stillness that acts like a pressure cooker for the imagination. You aren't alone—some of the best ideas happen when our brains are told to sit still and listen to something else! If you feel a bit guilty about it, look at it this way: inspiration is a gift, and you’re just making sure it doesn't go to waste. To help you keep those sparks flying without feeling like you're being "disrespectful," here are a few ways to lean into the process: The "Stealth" Strategy The Bulletin Method: Use the margins of the church program. To anyone watching, you’re just taking diligent notes on the sermon. The Analog Feel: Carry a small, leather-bound pocket notebook. It looks more like a prayer journal or a spiritual diary than a "plot hole solver." Phone Etiquette: If you use your phone, turn the brightness all the way down and use a dark-mode notes app. I...

  It’s Finally Time to Step Into the Light For a long time, I’ve been content working behind the scenes, keeping my best ideas tucked away like a well-kept secret. I stayed in the shadows because it felt safe there. But safety doesn't lead to growth, and it certainly doesn't lead to  sparkling. Yesterday, January 2nd, I had a transformative conversation with my Senior Editor. We talked about the future, my voice, and the impact I want to have on my readers. He gave me the nudge I finally needed: it’s time to stop hiding. Shifting from Shadow to Sparkle There is a specific kind of magic that happens when you decide to own your space. To "sparkle" isn’t just about being seen; it’s about bringing your full, authentic energy to everything you do. For me, that means opening the doors to a project I’ve kept under wraps for far too long. Breaking the Silence My website has been live, yet "hidden," for months. It was a digital ghost town because I wasn't ready t...

  Chasing the Spark: Big News and 2 AM Inspiration They say the early bird gets the worm, but in the world of writing, the "early bird" usually gets a double espresso and a fresh set of ideas. I have some incredible news to share: My latest article was officially  accepted by my Senior Editor and Publisher!  There is no feeling quite like getting that stamp of approval from the top. It’s a validation of the hard work, the research, and the voice I’ve been trying to cultivate. But the news gets even better. More Than Just a "Yes" During our meeting, I decided to pitch a few "sidebar" ideas—topics I’ve been ruminating on that felt like natural successors to this piece. To my delight, the Publisher loved all of them! What happens next?  The ideas are now headed to his  Staff Editor  for her final approval. Having the backing of the Senior Editor is a massive head start, and I’m feeling incredibly optimistic about building a long-term road map for my work this...