Laurie's Journal

The Quiet Radical: When Life Becomes "Real" Again For years, my life was lived in the extremes. I was either viewing the world through a high-definition, neon-soaked lens where every idea was a masterpiece, or I was trapped in a basement with no windows, convinced the sun had retired. When you live with Bipolar disorder, you get used to the drama. You become a connoisseur of the "Internal Apocalypse." But then, something strange happens. The medication kicks in, the therapy takes root, and the pendulum stops swinging so violently. You reach the Great Quiet. This is what they call stability. But what they don't tell you is that stability isn't the end of the story—it’s just the moment life finally becomes real . The "Boring" epiphany In the beginning, stability feels suspiciously like boredom. I remember sitting on my porch, drinking coffee, and waiting for the "other shoe" to drop. I was so used to my brain being a chaotic 24-hour news cy...

  A Fall from Innocence to Raging Grit, Redemption and Beauty from Ashes: Moving from “Eve Trauma” to “Mary Magdalene Enlightenment” Life rarely moves in a straight line. We start in a place of untested innocence —a season where the world feels predictable and our hearts are intact. But for most of us, there comes a "fall." It’s the moment the floor drops out, the dream shatters, or the silence becomes deafening. Yet, it is in the wreckage of that fall that the most profound transformation begins. The Shattering: From Innocence to Grit Innocence is beautiful, but it is fragile. It’s a porcelain grace that hasn't yet met the hammer of reality. When life strikes, your eyes are opened and that innocence doesn't just chip; it breaks. But here is the secret: Grit is forged in the furnace of loss. The Fall: It strips away your ownership rights of innocence. The Raging Grit: This isn't just "toughness." It’s a fierce, internal fire that refuses to be extingu...

  The "Perfect" Pew: Finding the Healer in a House of Flaws People, am I right? They are probably about as predictable as the dialogue in a Hallmark movie. You know the drill: small town, big misunderstanding, and a snowy resolution within 90 minutes. Or are they? The thing is that people—even those who maintain seemingly perfect attendance in the hallowed halls of a church—are, well, to give you the "real real," flawed. The Elephant in the Sanctuary This reality has been the very thing keeping people away from church for years. Let’s be honest: getting hurt by someone (or a "someone plural") operating under a pastor or priest's authority is a wound that runs deep. It’s one thing to be snubbed at the grocery store; it’s an entirely different level of pain when the sting comes from the place that’s supposed to be a refuge. We’re talking about ravaging wounds that produce scars that run even deeper than the initial cut. When the people representing the ...

  The Art of Unshakable Peace: Why Other People’s Toxicity Isn't Your Burden We’ve all been there. You’re having a perfectly fine Tuesday until someone drops a comment so sharp, so unprovoked, or so downright depraved that it feels like a physical blow. Your heart rate spikes, your face flushes, and suddenly you’re composing a scathing comeback in your head—one you’ll probably replay at 2:00 AM for the next three nights. But here’s a radical thought: What if you just... didn't care? I don’t mean "pretending" not to care while seething inside. I mean reaching a state of clarity where the vitriol of others simply slides off you because you realize it was never about you in the first place. 1. The Mirror Effect When someone speaks to you with cruelty or depravity, they aren't giving you a status report on your character; they are providing an involuntary tour of theirs . Humans are essentially biological projectors. We can only give away what we have inside. A perso...