Laurie's Journal

Hey there!  I woke up this morning asking God the Father, "What do you want me to work on?"  He impressed upon me forgiveness. When you hold onto bitterness and resentment, it eats you up inside.  Forgiveness frees you, but it also frees the other person who wronged you.  People who you don't forgive allow other people to rent space in their head. In my daily devotions I asked my Father to forgive me for ignoring Him for years by not praying either for myself or others. Now I have the desire to work on forgiving myself for committing sins of my past. Well, I must dash.  I have finish my coffee and get ready for church. Love ya!

 Happy 2024, all! New year, new season, new day! I think I'm going to begin writing my devotional because I've learned so much in 2023.  In 2023, I learned to overcome my biggest bugaboo FEAR.  May 2024 be a year free from fear! In the past year our house has been sold and we have been on the hunt for a new apartment within our budget.  This is a BIG TEST for me as apartments today are priced SKY HIGH. As I write this entry, I am listening to Pastor David preach online about how God takes His time and is never in a rush because God, being in the past, present and future, knows everything is going to be more than OK.   In the meantime, I'm going to remain obedient and align myself with God's will and continue to look for our amazing apartment God already has prepared for us!  Our downstairs neighbor joined forces with us in our searches for our amazing new homes. God's presence goes out before us.   I have to admit that I have been actively pushing aside fear in the

Hello, all! Seasons greetings to all!  Living one day at a time by faith.  Things are slowly starting to peek through the curtains of obscurity as to what God's plan is for my life.  Certain people are basically pissing me off more and more as I learn more about God's Word. Why???!!! The answer is simple.  People-especially those who are not saved by Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ-are dumb as shit to be completely real. Sorry.  I am hard pressed not to be angry because it's difficult to have patience with utter stupidity. Sorry, well, not sorry. I've had severe bipolar for 25 years.  At first, I didn't know what was bothering me because during the 1980s "Manic-depression," as it was called was not something you spoke about publicly.  There was a shame attached to having mental illness in those days.  Currently, with a stigma nearly lifted, mental illness is now starting to be recognized as a disability. I caught up with my disease and how our society views

Good afternoon all! Thank you for allowing me to cry out to God yesterday. I read Psalm 2 or at least Psalm 2 read me.  The message is clear: defy God and remain broken. Surrender and obey and be blessed.   "Why do the nations rage, And the people plot a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, And the rulers take counsel together, Against the LORD and against His Anointed,  saying, 'Let us break Their bonds in pieces And cast away Their cords from us.'" I have been fighting lately, but it has been like pounding sand.  Completely useless. Who can fight with God??? Moreover, why would you want to fight or defy God??? The only battles we win are the battles we fight on our knees with God as the front Man. My main hang up was that I needed to be in control of EVERYTHING.  Thankfully, I was warned PLENTY before I acted out any willful intentions that could prove to be dangerous.   God help me to stay under  Your umbrella and not to stray. Help me to stick to my

 Hello, all! I have a confession to make.  It has to do with my spirituality.  I am writing this to you dear readers as I am writing this to God, and my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I have not been reading my Bible as I should be doing because I was angry with God.   As a result, I was starving myself of the Bread of the Word, but at the end of the day I was only hurting myself.   Oh dear Heavenly Father please help me come back to You! Circumstances of life have caused me to run away from You with self-will run riot.  In the process, I have looked to everything else but You for my help.  I have willfully tried to sabotage my 23-year long relationship with You because I didn't believe in Your power to graciously get me to the other side of my circumstances.  I knew better, but I was tempted anyway. I run to You Heavenly Father, and I run back to the Cross. Oh, God help me!  I sit here writing this with tears in my eyes humbly asking You to forgive me for my willfulness, my spitef

 Sorry about the delay in catching up! I was pretty much oscillating between mania and depression in the month of October.  But now I'm back stronger than ever.  I'm living proof that living with manic/depression requires so much more than simply medicine. How did I get through it? The only way through is through, as I've heard it said.  I had to use my tools of positive self-talk, surrendering my anxieties to God and of course staying in line with medication and self-care. Now, I'm looking forward to the holiday season and, of course, Florida for my brother Ron's wedding. 70 degree winter break here we come! I have to go to work soon, so I think I'll relax with some meditations and some positive prayerful personal confessions. Until next time! Bye for now! Love you.